The New Kobe Bryant Vitamin Water Commercial Is Unbearable

A.B. 90% of the reason I hate this commercial is because I’m a Celtics fan. I don’t enjoy anything that Kobe or The Lakers do. There, I said it.

But put that aside and this commercial is still incredibly unbearable. Bear traps? fanny packs? sandwiches? Who writes this stuff? And what the hell is Klosed? Does the word change because Kobe does a commercial? I would understand if it was a commercial for K Mart. Then play up the letter K all you want. But calling Kobe a kloser is the most feeble attempt at creativity I’ve seen in a while.

And don’t think I didn’t notice that quick shot at Boston, Vitamin Water. “I’ll leave that alone,” says Kobe. Too bad Vitamin Water didn’t do the same.

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